Spices of Pinoy Life

by Ben Serrano


Enchanted Political Kingdom in the Land of No Return 

Once upon a time, there was a Kingdom in the Land of no Return which formed part of the bigger Kingdom ruled by same dynastic names, Rulers, they said, are like diapers they change of same reasons, But in these lands of no return, no change of diapers even already wittingly wet. Same diapers, Same Nannies, forever? God only knows…


One day, the King dies due illness the Kingdom and fiefdoms don’t even knew for it was not officially announced by trumpheters who like leeches keep sucking blood of the ruler’s pocket, never mind if it is people’s money stolen or not.

Before his demise, he told followers, “my son will be the next ruler but if my wife who is undying to inherit my throne ever since, so be it. Remember, I am the ruler but my beautiful Queen rules me (slaves laugh while serving masters as they used to) Keep the people ignorant of the real sense of good governance, for our family and even our pets (again slaves laughed this time so loud with salivas springing like water sprays) are only the rightful rulers this Kingdom only knew”


The King continues while grasping air to breath with eyes swirling like jolibee’s swirly bitz due excruciating pain, “Buy as many votes as you can to ensure victories of my wife, sons, relatives every election time but do not forget to get commissions from suki contractors 20%, 30% in pronto, Opps… others pay a little cash in advance, don’t forget or else” says the King while the Queen, prince and princess look at him crying while others counting money in their heads about collectibles of their business.


But some suki contractors who win bids after bids as if they are the only contractors in town already transferred loyalty to the equally corrupt competitors of the King after seeing the monarch's rule for decades are weaning.


The dying King also gave instructions like what to do with his many division managers of different branches of the Federation of Kingdoms and the national government agencies whose heads afraid of political power of Dynastic Monarchs had to do whatever whims and caprices the Dynastic Monarchy wants.


The King specifically leave instructions what to do to make his people loyal because of threats of another dynastic family rulers competing with his family for decades too.


Already some of the King’s close allies transferred loyalties to rival clan after a fat trustee the King thought loyal to him because like dog it wag its tails every time the two meets. The trustee jumped to another political fence for reason he and rival clan only knew.


“Ahh..” the King remembers ”Don’t forget the Kingdom trumpheters buy and please them always for like mice and insects they create itches sometimes, while they play the lonely music they make lies true ( with some girls at the scene giggly laughing)”


Even at his last breath, the great King reminded his fiefdom to not forget religious leaders, he said, “They keep the balance of power but they’re tamable”.


While King lies in state, of course all who benefitted under his watch came, some cry while some murmuring what will happen to their connection at the Kingdom now that the King dies.


Together with some of those who benefitted, favored slaves of the Kingdom, they paraded kilometers long at burial parade just to show their last show of loyalties even if they already courting connections to connect with the rival dynastic clan.


Some cry only to show to the surviving family that they really meant loyal but smiled to rival clan if ever they met. In short, they are double face brats like I scratch yours, you scratch mine”


The King seemed threaten because the rival clan (also dynastic one) who like Sword of Damocles are preparing to finally take over the rulership of the Kingdom mired with dire poverty and joblessness.


But they are not all to blamed, people sucking royal families blood dry and surrounding them are giving then wrong advices


And so with the Grace of the Lord, the King finally was buried and rest in peace.


(What happened next in the Land of No Return? Please follow this column Spices of Life  at nationally circulated news magazine Mindanao Weekly Reporter and at www.batasmedia.com)